Last week the Alamo Drafthouse announced a very cool thing. With anticipation high for Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman, the iconic cinema chain would host a special, female audience only screening of the movie. Tickets for the event sold out minutes after they went on sale, so more screenings were added. We can all agree this is a pretty brilliant idea, since it’s a huge deal that we are finally getting a female fronted super hero, and one of D.C. Comics “big three” is going to get her chance to shine on the big screen for the first time. With the world being one giant shit show at the moment, we gotta take our reasons to celebrate any way we can.
Oh but would you know it, a handful of white dudes are crying foul over only having 3995 screens to watch Wonder Woman on during a small window of time. Yep, the same mouth breathing swamp rats that have pissed and moaned on social media that they’ll never see the movie because they don’t think certified badass Gal Gadot has large enough boobs have compared screenings open to women only for a brief time as being in the same level injustice as Rosa Parks being forced to ride on the back of the bus.
It seems like we should be well past the point that anyone has to write a column like this but hey, it’s 2017 and basement dwellers that make up the bottom of the barrel nerd subculture get their Pampers twisted into knots when mommy doesn’t pack a Capri Sun into their lunch boxes so that .001 of the population is going to stomp their feet and bang their keyboards until they are heard. WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF US POOR, TRODDEN UPON WHITE DUDES?
One brave soul boasted on Twitter that he’s purchased his ticket for the exclusive screening. The internet tough guy just dares all you mean feminazis to make him miss this screening. God I can just imagine the fucking smug look on his face sitting among the crowd, knowing he’s doing his best to ruin something that should be pretty cool just to prove the point that if you’re a white guy you can go on and do whatever you want. Nice work man. I’m sure you believe you’re striking a real blow for equality with this move. While I’m sure the persons who attend this event will handle your unwelcome intrusion with class and dignity, I wish they’d drag you out screaming and use your entrails to season their nachos.
Why is there a call for an all female audience for a Wonder Woman movie? Well we just put a guy in charge of the free world who openly bragged about sexually assaulting women in tape, has openly mocked the disabled and has declared war on the free press along with anyone that doesn’t have white skin and a dick. Planned Parenthood is under assault because women’s health care isn’t a concern. A woman who spent her professional life preparing to hold the highest office in the country faced a criminal amount of acrimony over emails and whether she had the “stamina” to lead. Hollywood stars who beat the shit out of their spouses get punished by collecting multi million dollar paychecks in dueling blockbuster franchises. A movie that dares to have an all all female comedian cast and be funny as fuck gets derided by giant man babies for “raping their childhood.”
Meanwhile Marvel Studios is four stages and a hundred billion dollars into their movie franchises and they’re still at least two years away from delivering a female fronted superhero film. Despite diminishing creativity be returns outside the Nolanverse, DC’s other big two get an infinite amount of chances on the big screen.
So it’s a big freaking deal when there’s a blockbuster superhero film starring me a woman, written by women and directed by a woman sees the goddamn light of day. It’s something to be celebrated. If that means that there’s going to be some screenings exclusive to women and young girls, then that’s a wonderful thing to be celebrated not torn apart.
Here’s a piece of advice for my fellow, white men who have gotten all butt hurt at what they feel is an exclusionary practice that for once doesn’t cater to their every whim on a silver platter. Compared to what millions have to face every day, these screenings are small potatoes. Instead of ralphing up hateful vomit online for millions to see, view this as a learnable moment. What you’re experiencing is the smaller tip of the iceberg compared to the harassment women face every day. It’s a speck of dust compared to the discrimination faced by people of color, the LGBT community, the Muslim population and so many other groups that don’t have the benefit of your skin pigment and gender. If you’re going to insist on purchasing a ticket for one of these Drafthouse events, rather than sink to the level of a slugworm, hand that ticket over to a woman you know, love and respect as a gesture of goodwill, and as an acknowledgement that the shitstorm so many have to brave every day can get better one gesture at a time.