In the middle of a desolate stretch of California desert there is a nuclear waste storage facility. Said facility has been re-purported into a place where the world’s wealthiest and most sexually deprived men can indulge in the necrophiliac fetishes. One of their regular clients is the disgraced son of a Japanese politician, a man whose capacity for sexual violence, degradation, humiliation and murder would make Satan himself turn his head away in disgust. One of his many victims was forced to watch as his wife was brutally raped and murdered before he himself was left a half blind cripple. Now the man, known only as “Mastermind” has a plan to exact his revenge. That plan involves purchasing a meth addicted woman, breaking her of her habit and training her to become the world’s greatest assassin. Said training consists of a montage that I’m pretty sure apes the regiment of Rocky Balboa in the days leading to his bitter showdown with the feared Ivan Drago. Once he deems her ready, he will use her to carry out his plan by surgically inserting an automatic pistol into her body, injecting her with drugs that give her the appearance of death and smuggle her into THE ROOM. Once she awakes from her coma, she will tear open her sutures, assemble he pistol and have twenty two minutes to kill everyone in the building before she bleeds to death.
If under penalty of death for failure, you had one guess as to where GUN WOMAN hails from simply from the synopsis above, you would guess Japan, right? Gun Woman is the latest from schlock artist Kurando Mitsutake, and stars Machine Girl’s Asami*
Gun Woman is not a good film. It looks like it was shot on VHS. The acting is atrocious. The set design is god awful. The plot would only make sense to a person who fell head first into a running blender. The gender politics in the film are fucked up beyond belief. Asami has no arc, and no reason to carry out the Mastermind’s plan. She exists as nothing more than a tool for him, to be used and discarded as he sees fit. She has no reason to carry out this plan, no reason to listen to her captor and no reason not to rip off his head and shit down his neck once she’s turned in to a skilled killer. His actions, which include shooting a man in the back and cutting open a drugged out female to show his protege how she could bleed out, are every bit as despicable as the main villain. Gun Woman is what a room full of teen boys in the throes of puberty would put together given the chance. What saves Gun Woman from total train wreck status is the gonzo third act, where a naked, blood soaked Asami wreaks havoc in the facility. It’s so over the top and ridiculous that you have to appreciate it.
Aside from the last twenty or so minutes, Gun Woman is an uncomfortable watch. It seems fucked up beyond belief that in 2014 there are movies that deliver the message women are nothing more than objects to be fucked, fondled, ogled and discarded at a whim. It’s a shame because all the staples of a midnight movie classic are in place here. It’s just delivered within such a shitty context that I’d argue one viewing is enough at best, or one time too many if we’re being honest.
*The star of all five films in the Rape Zombie saga. Did you know there were five films titled Rape Zombie? Do you feel a little sadder for knowing this now? I do.