While we were wringing our hands and hitting our browser’s refresh button hoping for election result probability updates, real evil slipped in the backdoor and won the night. Folks, when you concern yourself with banalities, Beezelbub slips through sight unseen and allows chunder heads like Max Landis the opportunity to remake his father’s greatest film. Earlier tonight The Hollywood Reporter broke the new that the poster child for nepotism will write, direct and executive produce a remake of An American Werewolf in London while the team behind The Walking Dead will serve as producers. From the article:
Max Landis will write and direct a remake of American Werewolf in London, following in the footsteps of his father John Landis, who directed the 1981 cult classic.
The Walking Dead creator Robert Kirkman and cohort David Albert, who executive produce the hit AMC television show, will produce the American Werewolf remake, which is set up at Universal.
Under normal circumstances, I am of the belief that a remake, no matter how unnecessary or how poorly it turns out for all involved, can never do harm to the original source material. The works that we fall in love with will always stand apart from and untouched by whatever hackneyed project a studio dreams up in order to cash in on a brand name. Also, a reboot can’t do more harm to the original film than the parade of diminished sequels that drag every horror franchise that’s ever drawn money. The Nightmare on Elm Street reboot from Dimension Films might have been a terrible movie, but it did no more to damage the series reputation that say, Elm Street 5: The Dream Child.
This is different though, and I don’t just say that because Jon Landis’ original film is so far and away my favorite all time movie that my wife rented a theater for me to watch it with friends and family on my 40th birthday. Werewolf was going to get remade at some point, but Jesus Christ on a stick, can anyone give a good explanation as to why a guy whose combined box office profits from his last few films wouldn’t buy you a large coffee at your local Dunkins get the chance to be the one to do so? By reason, I mean, give me a reason that doesn’t involve his dad’s sperm? I mean look at that face. That’s a face that just screams out to be punched over and over until reparations for American Ultra have been satisfied.
Anyways, the world is a horrible place and now I’m switching my vote to Trump with the hope that when he wins some subordinate of Putin tweets that the Orange Windbag looks like Cheetos snack food wearing a bad weave and the world ends in a fiery nuclear holocaust before this travesty of a film ever hits theaters. Once again the world has proven that it is a terrible place and no one can ever have nice things.